Let's Keep the Competition out of Birthday Party Activities

Have you noticed that a competitive element has crept into birthday parties? I'm not talking about the parents competing on who can throw the best party; I'm talking about the actual birthday party activities themselves.

For example, one of my girls attended a party that featured a dance contest where prizes were handed out for the best dancers. She didn't get one. Do you think she has fond memories of that party? She does not. Or how about the kid who doesn't "medal" in any event at the Olympics themed party while his or her more athletic peers sport a chest-full of the shiny plastic beauties.

I kept this in mind when we did a dance party for my younger daughter a few years ago. While an element of competition is definitely fun, it was infinitely more important to me that everyone walk away feeling good. So, ahead of time, my husband and I made award certificates for each party attendee and gave each one different "Best" label. So, one person was the Craziest Dancer, another was the Wiggliest Dancer, etc. etc. .Then, more of less randomly, we ceremoniously handed them out at the end of the dancing. It was fascinating to see how eagerly the girls waited to hear what "award" they got. Several girls immediately showed their certificates to their parents as soon as they arrived to pick them up with great pride.

Let's face it. We all want to be told we're the best at something. Birthday parties are a time to celebrate and suspend acknowledging life's harsh realities. There's plenty of opportunity for our kids to experience being "winners" and "losers" as they proceed through life. For these two magical hours, let's just have fun.